POV: Noel Fielding in Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven.
Acrylic on canvas
40 x 30cm
The rapping Noel hears at his chamber door is The Asda Man, nothing more.
His delivery of Lenor has been substituted for some weird brand of fabric softener called "Nevermore".
Noel is not happy with it.
Based on a version of The Raven I wrote during lockdown:
 
Once upon a midnight dreary,
While I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore - 
 
While I nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping,
rapping at my chamber door.
 
"tis the Asda Man", I muttered, 
"tapping at my chamber door - 
Only this, and nothing more"...
 
... Deep into that darkness peering, 
long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken,
and the stillness gave no token, 
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenor?"
 
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenor!" - 
Merely this, and nothing more.
Then methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by fabric softener whose footfalls tinkled on the floor.
 
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy ordering of Lenor;
Quaff, oh quaff this substitute and forget this lost Lenor"
Quoth the Asda Man
"Nevermore."
 
"Be that word our sign of parting, man or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting - 
"Get thee back into the traffic and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black bag as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!
- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy crate from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
 
Quoth the Asda Man
"Nevermore."